


It's an Infestation!

by MiniDemons



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But the spiders win, Iwaizumi just wants peace and quiet, M/M, Next Door Neighbors, Oikawa Doesn't know how to deal, There be Spiders Here, This story is basically Oikawa vs Spiders, Would you like some fluff with your spiders?, is that too much to ask for?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8268040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniDemons/pseuds/MiniDemons
Summary: He still stands by the fact that he has a manly scream. Too bad his neighbor doesn’t know how to appreciate it.
AKA where Oikawa sees too many dark things scuttling across the floor right when he’s about to go to bed, or take a shower, or make his coffee, or- well. Do anything. Iwaizumi appreciates it as much as he appreciates the (manly) screaming.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story was just, for fun really. I’m in a writing mood (which sucks because that means I am unproductive on everything else) and the idea struck because I was thinking about how my house gets infested by spiders at least once a year and then after a while my mom has this complete freak out and goes about smacking any black spot that might remotely be a spider. So many corpses, just- so many.
> 
> Debating on making Oikawa aro/ace (because I am a sucker for Aromantic Oikawa) if I do make him aro/ace it won't play too big of a part of the story so I won't be tagging it.

He has the manliest scream ever, deep and just- manly. It was _manly_ , not high pitched or girly. Nope, not at all. He didn’t care what anyone else had to say because he had a _manly_ scream. He did, and he’d be sticking with that until he died.

 

He didn’t think his neighbor appreciated his (manly!) scream though, if the rough pounding his front door was any indicator. Tooru didn’t know why, it wasn’t that late (when walking to the door he was able to sneak a peek at the alarm on his oven and figure out it was 3:41 am- but he reiterates it’s not _that_ late.) and it’s not like he was making that much noise (he will admit to screaming twice in… probably the last hour but they were _moving_.) so it was easy to conclude that his neighbor was simply a grouch that gets easily irritated but- ah well. Everyone has their own faults.

 

Opening the door however, ended up being a tad life threatening since with the swing of the door did not come with the end of the barrage (no, what did come with the opening is some bruise that’s going to be a tad awkward to explain and a disgruntled face from his neighbor.) “May I help you?” Tooru’s smile was sugar, sweet as can be and innocent and a ‘see, can’t be angry with me right?’. Unfortunately the sweetest smile in the world wouldn’t even begin to sweeten up the anger boiling over from the person on the other side of the door.

 

“Stop fucking screaming. I don’t care if they are ‘moving’ or what-fucking-ever. Just shut up because thanks to your loud, shrill ass scream _I_ haven’t  had a full nights sleep in the last fucking _week_. So just shut the fuck up and _stop fucking screaming before I decide murder_ ** _isn’t_** _that bad.”_ The last words were hissed, and Tooru could _see_ the fumes escaping the shorter man’s ears.

 

“I do _not_ have a ‘shrill scream’. I have a very manly scream- not that I was screaming mind you. And it’s not my fault, they are conspiring my murder. I’m just-“ He paused scrambling to find something before spitting out, “giving people a warning that I am about to get _murdered._ But just for you I’ll _try_ to keep the noise to a minimal whilst they **_kill_** me. Wouldn’t want to be rude after all.” Tooru gave the brightest smile in his arsenal and just as his neighbor opened his mouth to speak Tooru slammed the door shut.

 

“You sound like a helium balloon that’s losing air and it’s killing my ear drums!”

 

Tooru decided he didn’t exactly like his neighbor. (And he did _not_ sound like a helium balloon. He deemed the (false)statement too- too- too _horrible_ to deserve a response.)

-

-

-

-

-

Tooru was absolutely exhausted after pulling an 18 hour shift at the hospital. His eyes were closing involuntarily, movements groggy as can be, and brain no where near the normal functionality. You’d think after five years of being a doctor he’d get used to it- and well, he has. But before he never had to tackle the ongoing war at home as well as hospital duties. Normally he never minded the long hours, actually he _thrived_ because of them. 

 

And then the spiders came.

 

It was a never ending onslaught. Wherever they could be, they were. Wherever they _shouldn’t_ be, they were. He found them everywhere. When he thought he killed them all, there were more. It seemed for every one he killed there was another ten that followed. And they weren’t small spiders either! Oh no, he never did things without putting his all in it and apparently the spiders took after him because they were _ginormous_.

 

Today was just, a horribly long day. The morning starting out with his (rude) neighbor telling him to shut up (which, it wasn’t his _fault_ because he was fighting a war here!) and then one of his patients were the most uncooperative little things ever and then there was Tobio-chan.

 

Oh, how he _loathed_ Tobio-chan. Because Tobio-chan could do no wrong, oh no- Tobio-chan was the _golden child_. Everyone should strive to be _Tobio-chan_ because _Tobio-chan_ was all knowing and just- perfection. Some may even call _Tobio-chan_ God. Never mind that Tobio0-chan was a god-damn intern, everybody still seemed to worship the ground he walked on because of the Kageyama line and his natural talent.

 

So, yeah. A shift with the _wonderful_ Tobio-chan was just what he wanted- no, needed! in life. Home, at last. And he was exhausted, ready to strip all clothing and climb into bed without a care in the world with how sweaty and nasty he was. He’d regret it in the morning but now? Now all he wanted was the welcoming embrace of sweet, sweet sleep.

 

What he _didn’t_ want was the spider that decided to scuttle across the floor, right under where he was about to step (barefoot!). He fell back with a yelp, arms flailing through the air to find some sort of balance before his untimely fall. He landed with a harsh thump, and probably an even harsher bruise if the pain in his backside had any say in it. And to make matters better, right at the edge of his vision he could see the tiny little spider (that really wasn’t that tiny) staring at him. 

 

It was probably laughing, enjoying it’s victory.

 

Not the proudest moment in Tooru’s life- he will admit to that. But not even a minute later he found himself shirtless, and running around the kitchen trying to squish the damn thing with said missing shirt.

 

When he finally killed it he may have gave a triumphant yell. Maybe.

-

-

-

-

-

To be honest Tooru didn’t exactly like sleep. It was unproductive, you just laid there. Doing nothing. It was some weird waste of time that the body seemed to deem was necessary and Tooru never appreciated it. He never appreciated anything that was unproductive really (like a sprained wrist or when he had to quit volleyball because of his knee-). What he appreciated even less however; was the feeling of something _crawling_ across his naked flesh as he lay there attempting to sleep.

 

Oh- he didn’t appreciate that feeling at all. His body convulsed, jumping straight out of bed whilst hands flailing to brush off every part of his skin as he could because- holy fuck spiders. He would say that was the worse feeling of all time, the creepiness of something tickling your skin that you can’t exactly see but oh- how you feel it.

 

It leaves after tingles, unpleasant after tingles that never go away no matter how often he swipes his hand across his legs or arms or shoulders or- anything really. Not that he had the time to properly freak out as shortly afterwards there was the harsh thudding noise on his front door. It sounded awfully familiar to when Neighbor-chan abused his door to yell at him a few nights ago.

 

Tooru quickly ditched his room (first to the bathroom though, because he needed to wear something and really, the pounding the door received gave him a head ache and made him worry about property damage) shivering here and there because of the phantom touch of something _crawling_ on him. And he opened the door.

 

Only thing he can say was, unlike the first time- the door abuse promptly stopped so he didn’t receive any additional bruising. Neighbor-chan still looked angry as before, face red and in some seething scowl, eyebrows furrowed (and all Tooru could think was, he’s going to have some major wrinkles later in life), and his spiky black hair. 

 

“Stop fucking yell-“ The man froze, face froze- everything just froze and took a look of just utter bafflement as he stuttered out, “are-alie-wha- why- why are you wearing a….” his face contorted, whatever it was trying to express honestly looked _painful_ as he finished with this strangled “bathrobe.” Tooru didn’t know if he should find the reaction amusing (because it was with twisted expression on the man’s face and the way his voice squeaked at the robe part of bathrobe) or be offended because- there was nothing wrong with wearing said bathrobe. Or at least, nothing wrong enough to deserve _that_ kind of reaction. Sure it was dark blue with stars and green little alien heads and UFOs scattered about, but he found the entire thing awesome and wonderful and really- how could one _not_ love such a masterpiece.

 

“Because I was sleeping, and I figured you wouldn’t appreciate me answering the door in my birthday suite. I know I’m beautiful and all but, there are somethings you don’t get to be gifted with.” Tooru leaned against the door frame debating about giving the grump of a man a smile or not before deciding he was too lazy to pretend to be happy about the banging.

 

“You weren’t _sleeping_ unless you have the talent to yell whilst sleeping.” The man snapped, giving his head a slight shake and returning to the glaring and scowling he was originally doing before noticing Tooru’s outfit. 

 

“Well I _was_ until a spider decided to start crawling on me.” He gave a shiver just at the thought because- ugh spiders. On flesh. Just. No. Preferably no spiders anywhere really. But especially not on flesh. Extra specially not on _his_ flesh.

 

“It’s a _spider_. Stop screaming at _spiders_. I am tired, just tired of being woken up in some god forsaken hour of the night because of a stupid fucking _spider_. They aren’t going to kill you.” 

 

“You don’t know that Neighbor-chan! How would you feel if I died in the middle of night because of one of those ‘spiders’ huh? They are dangerous! They attack me _all_ the time! _Even in my sleep_!” Tooru huffed, crossing his arms and giving a pout, eyes wide and beseeching because that was an accurate worry of his. Those spiders are mean, evil, demonic! They conspired to kill him with all the stunts they played- he just knew it.

 

“I would _celebrate_ if you died. Celebrate! Finally, an uninterrupted nights sleep! They’re spiders! Not the yakuza! Spiders! Harmless. Spiders.” Tooru was able to quickly conclude that the man in front of him was basically the personification of aggressive and hostile with the way he motioned. He motioned… angrily, furiously. Like he was making a point that was so obvious and that he (Tooru) was stupid to _not understand because how can you not understand such simplicity?_

 

It was just… angry. No better word to describe the harsh, jagged movements with the even harsher growling voice. Mr. Rage would be a fitting name for the man, a very fitting name.

 

“Spiders are _not harmless_. They are fiends, evil demonic _fiends_. Do you know how many people go to the hospital yearly because of spider bites?! How many die or have limbs amputated?! And god, some of those bites are absolutely _nasty_. Like the Violin spider’s bite has bacteria that eats away your flesh so really, that bite becomes literal _rotting flesh_ and you are saying that’s ‘harmless’? And the-“

 

“Shut up, I don’t fucking care. Look this is your last warning, next time you yell or scream for whatever reason in the _middle of the fucking night_ I am going to write a complaint form about you. So just- be quiet, deal with your problem _quietly_. In silence. Without high pitched screaming. Silently.”

 

Tooru huffed, crinkling his nose because how dare he- “Don’t you need a name to write a complaint.” The words were grumbled out, not sugar coated just, there basking in all his grouchy glory.

 

“I don’t need a name. Just your number.”

 

A sly smirk fell across Tooru’s lips, eyes fluttering and his grouchiness vanished into thin air as his trilled out a, “Oooo, forward aren’t we?” Which left Mr. Rage in a stuttering mess, kind of. Okay, not really- his eyes just widened and mouth twisted in weird shapes before finally spitting out, “Your _room number_ you ass.” Before turning around and stomping away. Tooru debated on saying something but promptly decided Mr. Rage just wasn’t worth the effort.

 

Tooru preferred thinking he left his grumpy neighbor a stuttering mess so he let himself be deluded to that illusion as he collapsed onto the couch to sleep. No way in hell was he going to be sleeping in his bed after having a spider _crawl_ on him.

 

He still didn’t like Mr. Rage.

-

-

-

-

-

It was mocking him, staring down at him from the corner that was too high for him too reach and dancing down when he got too comfortable. 

 

And he couldn’t stop watching it- he tried, he really did and then it’d dart down so painfully close. He was _trying_ to do something important (if Pintrest could be considered important) on the computer when one of _them_ decided to be daring. Everything after that was a lost cause as he found himself watching it like a hawk, clutched in his hands the largest notebook he had in his apartment, and unable to break eye contact with the tiny monster.

 

He was willing to bet his life that the damn thing was mocking him because he couldn’t do _anything_ with the monster skittering around and _out of reach_. It just had to be mocking him.

 

And then it happened.

 

His attention on his mocker snapped as some black _thing_ fell, and landed on him. He jolted upwards, tripping over his chair with a scream and his phone clattering to the floor, hands furiously patting himself down because oh my god-

 

A spider just fell on him.

 

A spider just _attacked_ him! He knew they were after him, he knew it, he knew it!

 

Unfortunately his feet were still moving, dancing as far away from that corner of the room and he found himself tripping over the couch when a loud bang echoed through the room. And here comes the return of Mr. Rage was the only thing circling through his head as he laid on the floor, one leg on the couch arm and the other dangling precariously in the air.

 

“Hey, asshole are you okay? Do I need to call an ambulance?” Were not the words he was expecting to follow the bang- and even if they were most certainly not the expected words to come from _Mr. Rage’s_ voice. Foreign, weird, unnatural really. Still gruff as ever but dare he hear a bit of concern in the voice? Though that might just be because of the door between the voice and Tooru’s ears.

 

Stumbling to a standing position was a long, unfortunate problem with things going hazy for a bit and he just _knew_ his nose was bleeding and he probably busted his lip when he had his… unfortunate fall. Swiping his tongue across his lip and, yup. Confirmation on the iron taste of blood. The spiders have officially drawn first blood.

 

Opening the door however resulted in a surprised look on Mr. Rage, and Tooru didn’t doubt it was because of his bloodied face (that was going to be hell to deal with later in life, like in an hour. When his shift starts again.) “Why, if it isn’t Mr. Rage. What has made you come to my humble abode yet again?”

 

“Are you okay? Oh my god, you are bleeding and wait-“ The words were spoken at the same time, Mr. Rage’s hands moving to touch Tooru’s face before his expression twisted to something awkward that was quickly followed by a confused, “Mr. Rage?”

 

“Well what else am I supposed to call my angry neighbor!” Tooru swatted the hands away before giving a bright grin (and yup, that was definitely blood he could taste. Lip was definitely split and _that_ was going to hurt for a while.) “And I am fine, I can deal with a little blood.”

 

“By my name. And that’s a lot of blood, what even happened? Did you get in a fight or something? Is someone else in there?”  Tooru rolled his eyes, and he could definitely detect concern laced in that gruff voice. 

 

“I don’t know your name Mr. Rage and a spider attacked me. But if you don’t believe me you are more than welcome to come check for yourself.” He gave an exaggerated sigh, stepping backwards and motioning the man inwards. Mr. Rage simply stood there for a second as if debating before giving a nod and a slight bow and stepping aside.

 

The closing thud of the door was interrupted by, “My name’s Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi Hajime. And- uh,” A nervous look flickered around the room before, “Thanks for not yelling for the past few days.” 

 

“Oikawa Tooru. I would say it’s nice to meet you but I need to fix myself before work so…” He motioned to his face (and the iron taste that kept filling his mouth and was totally unappreciated and unwanted.) Iwaizumi startled before giving a stiff nod and saying, “Ah, yeah I can help you with that. I’ve been studying medicine so…” He left off awkwardly, glancing around the apartment yet again (Tooru didn’t understand _why_ , the layouts were the exact same on every one bedroom apartment.)

 

“Aren’t you too old for that…” He left off, thinking for a second before adding a chirpy little, “Iwa-chan!” The man spun around, eye brows impossibly high to match the impossibly wide green eyes that followed. His mouth forming some strangled expression before finally spitting out a- 

 

“Don’t. Just. Don’t call me that. And I just started a bit late, medical school is not cheap. Do you have a first aid kit?” 

 

Tooru hummed a little before vaguely pointing in the direction of the bathroom. After a few seconds he decided to add, “In the bathroom. You know, Iwa-chan you don’t have to do anything right? I’m a grown man, I can handle myself.” Tooru still found himself going to the bathroom and collecting his tiny little first aid kit and moving out into the living room (meanwhile Iwaizumi once again complained about the nickname and Tooru told him that if it bothered him so much, the door was wide open.)

 

“You should feel honored that you get to touch my face. I normally don’t let anyone I haven’t known for at least a month touch it.” They found themselves sitting on the floor a few minutes later, the contents of his tiny first aid kit scattered around them and Iwaizumi roughly dabbing at Tooru’s face with a wet rag.

 

“We’ve been neighbors for over a year by now and you should feel ‘honored’ I’m even helping you.” An even harsher rub that left Tooru wincing and giving a whine, “Ow-ow-ow Iwa-chan. And you are studying medicine? Oh, how I fear for the future of medicine. And if I remember correctly I _wasn’t_ the one to ask for you to help me. You were the one who decided to do that all on your own.” He gave a slight hum before snapping his fingers and exclaiming, “Just like a mom!” 

 

Iwaizumi’s face darkened and he pinched Tooru’s nose, “Don’t make me hurt you.” Tooru gave a yelp, quick to swat away Iwaizumi’s hand all the while giving a grumble, “You are already hurting me.” His lip jutted out, brown eyes going wide and teary and Iwaizumi just glared at him before sighing and returning to his previous dabbing, “How did this happen anyways?”

 

“I told you already Iwa-chan. You should start listening, it’s a very important job for doctors to-be! I was attacked by a _spider_.”

 

“Yes. Because spiders give people bloody noses and split their lips.”

 

“It was a very fierce spider Iwa-chan.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> And the next part is just going to be.... Oikawa and Iwaizumi being Oikawa and Iwaizumi with spiders (and Oikawa being overly violent with spiders which Iwa-chan is totally against) (I feel like the third meeting was a tad awkward and the invitation was a tad sudden? Not sure how to fix that though)
> 
> I have half of it written so it should be up in a week or so, was originally just going to post it all as a oneshot but my brain kept telling me this would be the perfect way to end a chapter for some odd reason XD 
> 
> The second part should be longer


End file.
